


printer noises

by ohsun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Enemies to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28810539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohsun/pseuds/ohsun
Summary: Working together (and bickering) for years, there's not much Ten and Doyoung haven't put each other through.Getting the same service-android as Doyoung to bring as a date to their company fundraiser, that's a new low, even for Ten.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Comments: 26
Kudos: 79
Collections: Challenge #4 — Awaken The World





	printer noises

**Author's Note:**

> hello! 
> 
> a massive thank you to the mods of a little wonder for organising this. this work is 50km out of my comfort zone, but i really enjoyed writing something different and everything went much better than expected.
> 
> also: minor warning for strong language

“So,”

“If you are going to say something stupid, please do it outside. I’m this close to-” Ten launches his office chair into Doyoung’s to cut him off. “For fuck’s sake, I was just about to close this ledger-”

“This is urgent,” Ten says, rolling his chair back. Doyoung sighs, pushing his chair out from his desk, spinning it around to face him. “Do you have a date for the fundraiser yet?” 

“That’s important?”

“It is only the biggest corporate event of the year - of course it’s important. And if you show up alone, Donghyuck from HR is going to gossip about how pathetic you are for the year to come.” 

“Why do you ask?”

“So you don’t have a date? Good!” Ten says, grinning. “Neither do I - let’s just go together, it’ll be easier.”

Doyoung considers this for a moment, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I never said I didn’t have a date.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, of course I do. You don’t?” 

“Well…” Ten trails off, nervously biting his lip. 

“Gentlemen,” Renjun, the service android that runs their floor, comes up to their desks, “you’ve been sitting down for over an hour, time to stretch the legs.” 

Ten gets to his feet, Doyoung following suit. 

“Make sure to rest your arms while I get something to drink for you,” Renjun says. 

“Coffee please,” Doyoung says, the android nodding to confirm. 

“Do you have a sparkling rosé?”

“It is beyond my capacity to serve alcoholic beverages before five p.m., sir,” Renjun says. It’s always the same, but Ten thinks there’s so much fun in trying. 

“You’re cute, Renjun.”

“I’m not at capacity to receive praise, sir.”

🤖

That next wednesday afternoon Ten is fucked, shifting an entire column in a spreadsheet he wasn’t even supposed to touch. All references are blinking back at him with angry #NAME’s and his palms are sweaty, eagerly opening the back-up file he made. 

Except it doesn’t open, an angry pop up blaring at him, telling him Doyoung is currently viewing this document. Except Doyoung is in a meeting and his desk is empty - and of course he forgot to close the exact document Ten needs.

He leans over, unlocks Doyoung’s computer and searches through his open windows to find the spreadsheet. Opening Doyoung’s outlook, an incoming email is staring back at him. 

_Thank you for your purchase! Your service-android will be delivered promptly._

_Your order: **Neo’s Service Android: Taeyong, version 3.0** $3500_

_Terms and conditions to your service-android apply, please visit our website._

Ten clicks the link, the website opening up. Service Android Taeyong, version 3.0 is staring right back at him, a cute blonde with big round eyes, smiling happily, a text bubble by his mouth saying he’s happy to serve. Compared to the Taeyong 2.0, this one has increased AI learning to show emotions and anticipate its owners’. It's practically a person - except it's not made to be a person. 

Ten thinks it’s rather tacky to get a personalised service-android, their usage rarely PG, and at the same time, he cannot help but conclude that it is absolutely brilliant. 

No one would blink an eye if he brought a service-android to a dinner party, people use them as company all the time. Doyoung's so smart and Ten is such a goner for his big sexy brain. 

The knowledge that Doyoung spent half his paycheck on an android just to be able to tell Ten he has a date is so intriguing, Ten thinks about it all afternoon. When Doyoung comes back from his meeting, he pictures the android next to him and thinks they would look pretty together - or he just thinks Doyoung is pretty. 

Sometimes he looks at Doyoung and his head gets all fuzzy. Printer noises, Renjun calls it. Ten doesn’t understand android-humour, but he knows his own emotions, and he knows he’s _jealous._ Of an android. 

It's a bit overkill, but the thought won't leave him alone. 

So he does the only logical thing he can come up with - he orders his own Taeyong 3.0.

🤖

Taeyong 3.0 is in a box on his doorstep when he comes home the next day. He knows it's Taeyong, because the box is human-sized and he doesn't recall ordering anything else. He's quite heavy to maneuver inside, but Ten manages with some pushing and pulling.

Once the box stands inside his living room, he rips the cardboard open to reveal the service-android. Its eyes are closed, and it’s dressed in a plain white t-shirt and trousers. 

"Um," Ten says, circling the android to see it from all angles. He makes sure there's no plastic residue to it - thinking these things are fresh out of the factory, he half expects Taeyong to come bubble wrapped. "Taeyong, start." 

Taeyong 3.0 comes to life. It’s nothing like Ten expects, just a little beeping noise and then he lifts his head up, exhaling deeply, smiling at his owner.

“Hello, I am Taeyong 3.0. My serial number is 3TY512_3. Who are you?”

“Hello Taeyong, I’m Ten.” 

“Hello Ten. I am a service android. I can provide home making services, personal assistance services, child care services or romantic services. Please let me know what you expect of me.”

“Er… romantic services,”

“Understood. Are the services for you alone, or are you involved? Please introduce me to you partner-”

“It’ll be just me,” Ten hurries out. 

Taeyong looks at him, blinking once, twice, like the cogwheels are turning in his head to process this information. "Okay Ten. I will serve you, Ten. If there's anything else you want me to call you, please let me know. I can feel out pet names, but I learn quicker if you tell me." 

"Just Ten is fine." 

Taeyong's silent for a moment. 

"You are very nervous, Ten," Taeyong says. Ten laughs breathily, nodding to confirm. "I could get you a drink if you'd like. Perhaps an alcoholic beverage, to calm you down."

"Uh," Ten says, "sure, would you like some too? Do you drink?"

“I can swallow almost anything,” Taeyong says as he walks into the kitchen. Somehow he knows where that is, and where Ten keeps the glasses, and that there's an open bottle of white wine in the fridge. 

“There will be no need for that, I only bought you to use as a date for my fundraiser gala.” 

“I can do that, too,” Taeyong 3.0 says. “I can be a husband or boyfriend, what role do you prefer? For boyfriend I have multiple options: no strings attached, newfound lover, going-steady or long-term relationship.”

“Eh,” Ten says, “I was kind of hoping to make a co-worker jealous.”

“Newfound lover it is,” Taeyong says, nodding to himself as he processes the information, just like any human would. It seems he has been programmed for that, too. “Do you want to establish a background to our relationship, it will make it easier for me to-”

“Actually,” Ten says, chuckling, “I don’t think that will be necessary, just seeing you will drive him insane.”

“I cannot tell if that’s a compliment. If you explain it to me, I will learn, and I will do better next time,” it rolls off Taeyong's tongue automatically, still Ten finds it cute. 

“That’s a compliment,” Ten says, “and I think you’re very cute.”

“Thank you,” Taeyong says. Then he blushes - they can do that too.

🤖

Ten leaves work early on Friday, hoping to get changed, have a pre-drink and show up fashionably late. Throughout the day he had almost forgotten about Taeyong, if it wasn't for the email he received in his inbox, stating that his Taeyong 3.0 was on and functioning at home.

He had let Taeyong stay in the guestroom. Taeyong had claimed he didn't need a bed or any human comfort to function, but Ten felt better knowing Taeyong had some privacy. He'd asked Taeyong if he needed sleep, and Taeyong had laughed, saying the android's needs weren't any of Ten's concern. 

Taeyong is in the kitchen when he comes home. He's still in the same clothes that he came in, but Ten had that taken care of, adding the suit outfit option to his order. 

"Hello Ten," Taeyong greets him. "I have a snack for you - it will be a couple hours until dinner, and it's been a while since you had lunch." 

"Thank you," Ten says, taking the plate from him. He shoves one of the steamed buns into his mouth, his stomach empty and rumbling. 

"I will wear the suit tonight - that's what you want, right?" 

"Yes," Ten agrees. 

"Thank you for telling me, dress codes are hard sometimes," Taeyong admits. "And Doyoung, I looked through your email. You are seated by the same table as him. Are you close?"

"We've been working together for years," Ten says, "he's a pain in the ass, but-"

"But he's your pain in the ass?" Taeyong offers. 

Ten looks at him in surprise. It's such a human thing to say, he almost forgets he's not talking to one. "Right."

"Sorry, I think that's what humans say. Sometimes my choice of words is poor,” Taeyong apologises. “I feel like you care for him deeply, love-hate the humans call it, right?"

"Right," Ten says, a blush spreading on his cheeks. "I do. For as long as I've known him, we've been competing, and I really like that - I love bickering with him and pushing his buttons. I asked him to be my date tonight, but he said he had a date already." 

Taeyong blinks, followed by a pause of silence, like he needs a moment to process all this information. It can’t be easy for an android to comprehend how Ten likes to annoy Doyoung, but affectionately. 

"Who is his date?" Taeyong asks. 

"Well that's..." Ten says, chuckling nervously. "He has a Taeyong 3.0." 

"He does?" Taeyong sounds genuinely surprised. "How exciting! I love meeting friends." 

"Friends..." Ten trails off, smiling. "You know them?" 

"Not really. But I got to meet some of them in testing," Taeyong explains.

"Are you all the same?" Ten asks, frowning.

"No, actually. We all develop different personalities, tuned to suit our owners. Service-androids aren't just for practicalities. Humans have emotional needs too, they need to feel understood and valued." 

"Do you feel that too?" Ten asks bluntly.

Taeyong blushes. It's the second time Ten sees it on him. 

"You are very bold," he concludes. "I am happy when you are happy." 

🤖

Ten shows up a couple minutes before doors close, knowing that the later he is, the less forced small talk with colleagues he has to sit through. Taeyong follows him, hanging gracefully off his arm. If Ten didn't have his eyes on Doyoung, he would probably enjoy a service-android like this. 

But he does have his eyes on Doyoung, and he starts looking through the crowd of people inside, trying to search him out. He's not one to show up early either, so he expects to be just on time. 

"He's here," Taeyong says, after they've handed in their jackets at the cloakroom. Ten follows Taeyong's hand, pointing at Doyoung in the door. 

Predictably Doyoung has shown up with his own Taeyong 3.0. Ten is embarrassed, if not for himself then definitely for Doyoung. Their Taeyongs are wearing the exact same standardised suit, their hair styled in similar fashion. They are replicas of one another, and while there's nothing about Taeyong's features that gives him away as a service-android - the fact that there are two identical people walking around speaks for itself. 

Doyoung's Taeyong spots Ten's first, like they have a telepathic connection. They smile when they see each other, but Doyoung looks anything but happy. 

Instead Doyoung is marching up to them, his own Taeyong in tow. He yanks on Ten's sleeve, pulling him with him into the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

"What the fuck," Doyoung barks, looking between the two Taeyong's, and then finally at Ten. "What's this?"

"This is my date," Ten says, gesturing at his Taeyong. He can still tell them apart, Doyoung's Taeyong with his hair styled in a different direction. 

"That's your date?" Doyoung spits, glaring at him. "How did you..." 

"Well I didn't have time to find another date after you turned me down, so I had no choice but to buy one." 

"You bought a date?"

"Look who's talking!" Ten says. 

"Well now we have the same date!" Doyoung says, gesturing between the four of them. 

"I know, I bought him on purpose," Ten says. Doyoung looks pissed for a moment, but then his face falls. He should know better than to have expectations of Ten. 

"Oh damn it Ten!" Doyoung says, putting one hand on his hip as he runs the other through his hair. "If you had just asked me, if you just had the fucking decency to ask me, not as a last resort - but because you wanted to go with me, I would have said yes." 

Ten blinks. He looks at his Taeyong, a knowing expression on his face as he looks down. 

"You would?" 

"You're a fucking idiot," Doyoung says. "And still, I would." 

Ten's heart swells with anticipation, the nicest thing Doyoung's ever said to him, probably. 

“Do you want to go with me?” Ten asks, better late than never. 

Doyoung sighs, shaking his head to himself. He looks at the Taeyongs out of desperation. 

“Ten said he wanted to ask you,” Ten’s Taeyong speaks up. Ten shoots him a glare, but the android is either not programmed to read it, or chooses to ignore it. Ten is inclined to believe the latter. “He says that he likes pushing your buttons.” 

“Taeyong!” Ten says. Both Taeyongs look at him, unimpressed. 

“Androids can’t lie,” Doyoung’s Taeyong informs him. “Doyoung said he wanted you to ask him. He said he’s been wanting to ask you out, but that you always end up arguing, and there’s never a right moment to do it. Doyoung has been wanting this since you started working together.” 

Ten thinks of their first day at the office. Of the spreadsheet Ten sent Doyoung, with the wrong colour of yellow to coordinate it. The way Doyoung redid it, printed it and duct taped it to Ten’s monitor to show him how it’s done. 

"Oh for christ's sake Taeyong, I told you all of those things confidentially," Doyoung whines, glaring at his Taeyong.

"What things?" Ten asks. 

Doyoung worries his lip between his teeth, folding his hands in front of him. 

"He likes it when you fight. He likes to leave documents open on purpose so you nag him about it. But Doyoung would like you to be kind sometimes, too,"Taeyong says. Doyoung whines, clenching his teeth as he dramatically covers his eyes in shame. 

Ten stares at the second Taeyong, thinking that surely this must be a joke. The Taeyongs and Doyoung must have conspired against him - this is a practical joke. They're making Ten feel bad for his dubious morality to purchase an android out of spite. 

Except it's not a joke. Doyoung's blushing so hard it reaches the tip of his ears.

"Are you serious?" Ten asks - to Doyoung, or to his Taeyong.

Ten's Taeyong nods. "Androids can't lie."

They can't lie - which means that whatever funny business Ten feels in his heart when he looks at Doyoung sometimes, is very much reciprocated. 

"Oh," Ten breathes, looking at Doyoung with a newfound shyness. But they’ve done shy and petty for years, and now they have two androids staring them down, and Ten feels the pressure, like _now_ is the time. 

He steps up a little closer, close enough for Ten to count Doyoung's lashes, holding his breath as he gently leans up on his toes. 

Doyoung has to meet him halfway, the height difference too much for Ten's toes to make up for, but all that matters is that he _does_ and that they're kissing, and Ten's heart sears. His head feels all dizzy, like _printer noises_ are whirring and he can't make sense of anything but Doyoung, taste him like he's been wanting to do for the past years. 

It's a longing he's become so used to, it seeps from every fibre of his body as he finally gets to quench it, finally gets to feel the lips that always tell him off, taste the sweetness of Doyoung's quiet gasp. 

They break apart when either of their Taeyongs makes an impatient sound. "The event will be starting soon." 

Doyoung looks at him, lips parted and a little startled. "Did you just kiss me in front of your date?" 

Ten grins, nodding. "How about you be my date instead?"

Doyoung smiles, blushing as he nods. "What about them?"

The Taeyongs look at each other, laughing. "We'll entertain ourselves. Do not worry." One of the Taeyongs speaks for them. 

Ten looks between them, then at Doyoung. He extends his hand to Doyoung, leaving it a lingering invitation. He can practically see Doyoung's thought process, reminding him much of how his Taeyong reasons. 

Still Doyoung puts his hand in Ten's, squeezing it confidently before they walk out together. 

🤖

They enter the dining hall hand in hand, Doyoung a little flustered by the stares that they get. 

It's Renjun who finally points it out, gasping theatrically when he sees their hands.

"I knew it!" He declares, looking at them expectantly. "I knew I wasn't malfunctioning, I knew it was sexual tension!" 

Ten laughs, patting Renjun's shoulder comfortingly. He looks at Doyoung, still a little bit embarrassed about them, but very much smiling as Renjun points it out. Renjun is right, there's plenty of that - but there's also a whole lot of healthy bickering that they have to look forward to. 

And when they're too stubborn to find common ground in their bickering, well, they have two Taeyongs to do the talking for them.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i would love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment if you’d like!
> 
> come find me on twitter: @ohsunwrites


End file.
